Thinking about Marriage

LOVE IS PATIENT, love is kind. And I believe we need to show love to not only our spouse. Therefore love should not be a word reserved for the context of marriage. For restricting "love" to marriage is nothing more than robbing it of its greater meaning. Thus the title for today- "Thinking about Marriage" as that is one of the things I had been thinking about lately indeed.

It is hard to deny that my age is catching up though I do not wish to speak like an old man because I really am not one yet! What I am trying to say is that I am no longer as young as I like to be anymore. Already passed the stage whereby all I ever had to worry about was "what to play next?" and there were people to make sure I ate and grew well. Have already transitioned out of childhood and started taking on responsibilities little by little every year. During my secondary schooling years, mom gave me weekly pocket money. And if I ever missed a day at school, the money for that day would be deducted in my allowances for the next week. One of mother's ways of making sure I did not miss school intentionally. By the time I started driving, dad gave me my allowances every fortnight. I had to budget more carefully because it is not too nice to say, "Can I have some money please?" to mom and dad when the cash ran out, even though they would probably give it. Ever since being able to drive, I took more control over my life.

Now I live in Singapore, for the purpose of pursuing my studies to become a nurse. I have a BMW, that is Bus+MRT+Walk. If you get the joke, you get it; if you don't, no need to worry about it.
Anyway, I am out of home. Receiving monthly allowances and paying rent. More responsibilities. And I am surrounded by girls, thanks to enrolling into a female-abundant course, by the way. Sometimes it is difficult not to wish to think about marriage. Okay, maybe most people my age have not started thinking about marriage yet; but they certainly think about courtship. For some, desperately. Nevertheless I do not expect fairy tale-like courtships with girls around me. Physical attractions, that leads to puppy love followed by broken hearts, are just nothing but a waste of time. And money.

What I am thinking about looking for is a woman whom I can spend my life and share my life with, together until we age and die. For as long as my breath shall last, I wish to love and protect her. I look forward to a practical, romantic friendship that lasts.

One problem, no girl lah! Hahaha... Talk so much for what? Never go and find the person to share that relationship with! So, I had been sort of scanning around for "suitable candidates" whilst continue thinking about marriage and what would married life be like. Not forgetting getting on with daily life as per normal. By the way, I do not insist on getting married. Can and will be fine either way.

With every look at the potential people I might like to "explore courtship" with, and asking God "Who is the right woman?" it all boils down to this question, "Will I be the right man for my right woman?" and I dare not set one eye on any of those girls anymore. Am I even ready for marriage yet? There are nice girls around, very few attract me and even fewer make me think of marriage. However, so what if I had found my potential spouse, or not. Am I ready for marriage? Everytime I think about what would life look like after the wedding, I think about how am I maturing to be worthy of marriage.

Love is patient.